Broken
by Collections of a Tattered Soul
Summary: What if Edward had never went to Italy? What if Bella never went to La Push? What if Bella was suicidal and cutting? And what if Edward does come back and sees her from her window? B&E OOC Bella slightly
1. Chapter 1

I decided to change it up a bit so here is my first ever Twilight fanfiction its sad and morbid and has a lot of mentions of self harm and suicide.

Plot: What if Edward had never went to Italy? What if Bella never went to La Push? What if Bella turned Suicidal and started cutting? What if Edward came back and watched her do it? Will he be mad? Or will he still love her?

Although I share the same amount of love for Linkin Park as Stephenie Meyer she owns Twilight I could never come up with such a wonderful plat as hers in a life time much less in a dream so here we go my first ever Twilight...

Bella is OOC but just go with it:

I doubt I'll wake tomorrow.

_

* * *

_

I have not the courage to take another day.

_I shouldn't have gotten so attached._

_I knew deep in my heart you didn't love me._

_Yet I allowed myself to hope._

_A mistake._

_Breaking into pieces._

_These scars are but a broken road leading to my soul._

_My once loving heart turned black. _

_My father is worried I can see it in his eyes. _

_And my mother keeps calling. _

_Like being stabbed with a dull edged knife._

_So I must bid farewell to you._

_Although I doubt you'll even read this._

_I must say I still love you._

_Although its killing me inside._

_I thought you were my one and only._

_I thought you felt the same._

_But you left me to drown in my own blood._

_And now I'm surely dead._

The life I had grown used was suddenly taken away. And I was left to die. Ttruth be told I doubted I could life as long as I have without him here. And its only been a month.

My bed was so empty so cold so unforgiving. My fingers traced over my bitterly slashed arms. I felt so empty so draned so.. broken.

Charlie, my loving Charlie his eyes look so dull. I know I should be going to school I know I should be trying but I just can't get myself to stand up.

My knuckles were still bleeding from where I had made a mistake and looked in the mirror. I just can't stand how ugly I am! I keep seeing **his** face looking back at me **he** is telling me I wsn't enough, I wasn't pretty enough, or I was too ordinary for such an extrdinary man like **he** was. I just couldn't stand it I was so convident when **he** was around. When **he** said **he** loved me I believed **him** but now, now I know **he** was only taking pitty.

Letting my thoughts drift to my razor or knife I forgotten which one excatly sitting just out of my reach on my desk. This remembeance of pure bliss when my skin broke modivated me to pull the blankets from my frail body and place my feet onto the cold floor.

The metal was heaven to my fingers it reminded me of **his **cool touch. My mind went blissfully numb as I twisted my sleeves up to see my poor sorly begotten wrist. I didn't even notice the newly arrived figure standing just within my room from thw window.

Today I decided. That I would not be allowed to life another day. I would not allow myself to keep hurting Charlie, or ignoring Renee and her frantic calls after being updated my Charlie about my condition as they so joyfully put it.

I try to ignore the sensation of being watched that hit me every so often when I was about to cause myself bodily harm. ot was tense my eyes threatened to fall shut so I didn't have to look at my arm the sickning sicking relazation of what I had become played over and over in my head.

I feel the same tears pool in my eyes before slowly falling swiftly dripping onto my arm. I slide the razor found a small piece of skin that it had yet to explore and pressed. I dropped into my one and only momment of peace as I watched the blood seep mixing with my tears and splashing onto the ground.

"Bella..." My breathing hitched. I looked up expecting to see nothing there just another imaginatory thing but there he was incased in the light of the dimly lite morning sky was **Edward.**

* * *

What did you think? review me please I love it when I get any one reading these things and remember even a mean review is a good review.

Its a cliffy I know so I'll make another chapter quickly enough!

Love,

Collections of a Tattered Soul


	2. Edwards thoughts

so I'm updating fast becuase I want to so here you go...

I don't own Twilight sadly enough.

Edward POV

_

* * *

_

I miss you.

_I trully do._

_I never meant those things I said._

_My heart is dead without you here._

_I just need to see your face._

_I just need to hear your heart beating gently against your ribes._

_I must have you with me._

_Or I will surly drown._

_If you've moved on I will not force myself._

_I just need to know your in good health._

I needed her. I craved her warm skin against mine. I didn't care if she could be hurt! Its selfish I know but I needed her like the stars need the sky.

So I went back to Forks back to the town I'd left only one month ago. And I sat at her window until Charlie left for work. I wondered why she hadn't gotten up yet for school.

I saw her toss and turn then finally look dully up to the ceiling. Her hand was on her arm I saw her grimce slightly that in its self made me curious.

And as soon as she slipped her feet to the ground I saw her body it looked so worn. So frail and unused like it was shutting down. She looked so weak weaker then any other human being that is. This was not my Bella she looked so helplessly lost my Bella was convident and strong.

She rolled up her sleeves and I gasped involunterily. Her arms, my Bella's arms what had she done? I saw her raise a razor to it I slipped into the window with every intention of stopping her not my Bella no!

But I froze when she started to cry. She placed the metal to a bare spot the sight sickened me. This is what I had caused I did this to my Bella.

I didn't even have the erge to bite her when the scent hit my nose I was complelty and utterly repulsed by what she had done but not by her never by her.

My breathing hitched when she sighed with releave. Releave? How could she be releaved when she had just cut her arm?

I just couldn't stop myself from whispering her name, she stopped and looked at me her puffy blood shot eyes froze me again.

"Edward?" She gasped she seemed surprised to find me real.

She took a step back dropping the razor so it cut her foot and holding her arm as the blood seeped into her light blue shirt.

"Your not real" She sobbed her back currently pressed to the door.

My sweet sweet Bella my sweet innocent Bella.

I ignore her pleas to just vanish like all the others and pick her up taking her to the bathroom. I sat her on the counter ignoring the skattered cosmetics I'd sent skipping across the floor and gather her arm in a towel.

"Why?" Her eyes full of dull pain and sadness looked up at me as I wiped the blood from her arm.

"Why what?" I asked looking back down at her arm. So many scars.

"Why did you come back?" I froze my hands unmoving as the blood contuined to drizzle.

* * *

How was it? I am glad you enjoyed my last chapter and I hope you like this one just as much!

Love,

Collections of a Tattered Soul


	3. BBmak with Back Here

Yes yes ok maybe I am a bit weird but I really want this story finished by tomorrow so I must be super typer!

I don't own Twilight A.K.A. the best freaking book series I have ever read. And I also don't own this song Back Here obviously it belongs to BBmak

_

* * *

_

Baby set me free from this misery  
I can't take it no more  
Since you ran away nothing's been the same  
Don't know what I'm living for  
Here I am so alone  
And there's nothing in this world I can do

"Why?" Bella asked looking up at Edward,

_Until you're back here baby  
Miss you want you need you so  
Until you're back here baby yeah  
There's a feeling inside I want you to know  
You are the one and I can't let you go_

"Why what?" Edward asked his hands gently wiping the blood away.

"Why did you come back?" Bella asked attempting to stifle the sob that was ripping through her chest.

_So I told you lies even made you cry  
Baby I was so wrong  
Girl I promise you now my love is true  
This is where my heart belongs  
Cos here I am so alone  
And there's nothing in this world I can do_

Edward looked at what he'd done then sighed, "I missed you Bella."

Bella looked over him, "Why? You don't love me. Who would you miss me?" Her voice wavered upon admitting what she'd been denying since he'd left.

_Until you're back here baby  
Miss you want you need you so  
Until you're back here baby yeah  
There's a feeling inside I want you to know  
You are the one and I can't let you go_

He dropped to one knee and looked under the counter to find a first aid kit. Bringing it back up he wrapped both her arm and her foot in gauze then scooped her back up taking her back to her room.

He tugged her shirt off of her and dug through her draw for a new one. Upon looking back at her he found her with her arms crossed over her stomach looking off to the side. Her hand went to her shoulder to pull the strap that had fallen down then to her cheek attempting to ride herself of some tears.

_And I wonder, are you thinking of me  
Cos I'm thinking of you  
And I wonder  
Are you ever coming back in my life?  
Cos here I am so alone  
And there's nothing in this world I can do_

He knelt in front of her she looked farther away. His hand rose bringing her face to meet his gaze.

"Edward why are you here? Did Alice see something that made you feel guitly? Did you just come back out of guilt? Was this an in convent trip for you? Because if it is you can leave now I'll be fine" Bella asked lowering her gaze to the floor attempting to recover at least some diganty if she had any left.

"An in convent trip? You nearly killed yourself!" Edward placed a curled finger under her chin and brought her eyes to meet his again.

"That was the plan" Bella sighed.

"Why Bella? Why would you do such a stupid irresponsible thing?" Edward looked deeply into her eyes as tear began to form there again.

"What am I supposed to do Edward?" Bella asked her voice cracking.

Edward was dumbfounded, "You left me! You never loved me! I felt so betrayed! Thoughts Edward can be a very dangerous thing! I went over the scenarios in my head, had you found a pretty vampire? Did you get bored? Was I not pretty enough?" Bella tore her head from Edward's grasp and took the shirt he had in his hand slipping it quickly over her head.

"Pretty vampire? Bored? My god Bella you have no idea how wrong you are!" Edward stood up and took her face between both his hands.

"I could never find some one more beautiful then you. I could never be bored when your around. I have always loved you and I will always love you! And Bella even for me you should not of tried that! Think of Charlie and Renee you're their only daughter!" Edward pulled her to a standing position and wrapped her arms around her waist nuzzling her neck.

"Why did you leave me?" Bella sobbed against the hollow of his neck.

"You weren't save. Your life had been in more danger then I wanted. I wanted you to live a normal human life and not be plague by ravenistic vampires every time something as little as you getting a paper cut happens. But god if I would of known. Bella I wouldn't have left. I wouldn't of put you through this I love you so much and to see you doing that because of what I had done made me sick" Edward murmured against her neck.

Bella didn't answer Edward grasped her chin lightly and tugged her lips to meet his.

Her head turned to give them better access. All their lines were being crossed as his tongue trailed over her lips begging for entrance. She granted him the right and they're tongues battled he nibbled at her lower lip causing a moan stiffed by his mouth on hers to erupt from her throat.

They pulled apart, "Don't you ever leave me again" Bella whispered.

"I won't Bella I won't" Edward promised kissing her gently on the lips before lowering her into her bed.

_Until you're back here baby  
Miss you want you need you so  
Until you're back here baby yeah  
There's a feeling inside I want you to know  
You are the one and I can't let you go_

* * *

So how did you like it? I honestly loved it myself but of course I'm the author so please read and review As always I lvoe you all!

Love,

Collections of a Tattered Soul.


	4. Sequel up!

Author Alert!! Sequels Up!!

(its not really a note you see..)

I have made a sequel to Broken... Its called Fixed and married... Its in my profile of course... I have to say I will miss Broken... Although fixed is rather sad I guess but happier... I ends well... As does this one I guess... But Fixed has alot more of the happy moments... Oh and rouge teenage human drinking vampires it has three of those... Maybe more... I don't know where the stories going quite yet... Anyway.. Its up.. review and tell me where you think it should go... Taadaa!


End file.
